Friday, August 15, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
and I’m sure
There must be something
When I turned 10, I was visiting Israel for the first time since I moved there, left there.... My grandmother bought me a yellow shirt and skirt set. The skirt was ruffled and the outfit had little black polka dots. I thought it was the best thing ever, and I remember thinking, even then, what an amazing thing she did, a woman over 70, going into a neighborhood boutique, buying this outfit for her youngest granddaughter. It must have been expensive, but I was 10. How did I know about things like that? I still think of her often. Thinking of that summer and seeing her face clearly hurts like hell. I can't believe how much I miss her. Why didn't I tell her I loved her more?
When I turned 20, I was psychotic. I broke up with my boyfriend of more than a year -- an eternity when I was 20 -- and I was on Paxil and smoking cloves -- and basically I wasn't me. I sorted myself out pretty quickly after that. I came to the realization that I wasn't a baby anymore. How destructive I could be. My footprint on life, on others, was firmly planted, and no matter how I tried to un-do things, they couldn't be undone.
I'm turning 30 in just over a week from now. Who knows what the day will entail, what I will be feeling, who I will be missing or pissing off... I'm not really excited about turning 30. Part of me doesn't want to be an adult, ever! But a lot of me wants to change, to fit into my skin. To like people again and not be so afraid of them. To like cleaning floors. To be a mother. To be a really great wife. To go to a Coldplay concert. Life doesn't end at 30, I know. Life continues.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The widow refuses sleep, for sleep pretends
that it can bring him back.
In this way,
the will is set against the appetite.
Even the empty hand moves to the mouth.
Apart from you, I turn a corner in the city and find,
for a moment, the old climate, the little blue flower everywhere.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
But I can't. After 20 years of of refusing to step foot into the pizzeria again (a bad experience with an extra cheese slice which led me to see my pizza slice in reverse), I finally decided to give in to the madness and go there for a Friday night meal with most of my familia. (Rafa, sis, Roman, Liam and Mia.) Roman is adamant that this is the BEST PIZZA EVER! Well I have to say to Roman, and to everyone else that thinks the same way, WHATEV!!!
This pizza is NOT the best pizza ever. It's not even close to being the best OK pizza ever. It's gross! The pie is too salty with parmesan cheese, too oily with all that olive oil smeared on the top, too much trouble to bother with having to wait close to an hour and a half for a pie. I'll say it again, I DON'T GET IT! There are so many amazing Brooklyn joints for pizza; why single this one out, especially when it's not even that good. Ah, I give up!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Bebe Outlet -- kind of crochet sweater dress with short sleeves - funky turquoise which I don't usually do, but why not?! It has pockets too at the bottom, which I just love. In the fitting room, it didn't seem see-through, but now logic proves since the friggin' dress is actually entirely knitted, it is indeed see-through. I wore it to work today, but was very discreet in my underthings. ;) At least the holes in the dress will be good for those hot summer days. LOL. Here's another Ebay pic - FYI, I do not look like a hoochie mama like this woman does.. sheesh! Push-up bra much?! The seller on Ebay is selling it for a starting bid of $60. I got the dress for $20 at Bebe itself. Yeah x2!
I'm really excited about this one. I think the brand is Velvet Torch, which I haven't heard of before, but for $20, I'm not one to complain. It's a double V neck dress! Fabulous. It covers up the parts you don't want people seeing, and emphasizes the ones you don't mind people seeing. I got mine in black, but here are similar pics of the back and front. I don't believe mine has a tie at the back, but I'm blanking now.
This is a simple summer dress from Abercrombie & Fitch. It was an impulse purchase because it's A&F and it was only $20. I have a thing about Abercrombie. When I was a teenager, it was the coolest brand to wear. Of course, not having my own money, I could never afford it. I remember going to a store, though, once, and finding a really marked down white peasant shirt. I loved it. I wore it all the time knowing I'M wearing Abercrombie & Fitch. A&F is still kind of costly, but you could get really good deals at an oulet. The dress I got is similar to the below, but it was blue... Very soft cotton. The dress I will probably be wearing the most this summer. The kind that looks great at work and equally great at Sunday brunch 'in the city'. :) Sort of like my pink madras shoes.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Mia is just over two weeks old now.. and I have literally seen her, awake, maybe once or twice. I tried to spend some one-on-one time with her the other day after I got back from being out of town for work, but Mia, alas, was sleeping. And then the two minutes she was awake, my sister's friend took her in her arms, so that was that.
I just don't get it! I feel a certain right to have access to the baby the most because she is my sister's baby. My sister is my blood, Mia is my sister's blood. I don't think I've ever accepted the fact that I'm married and my sister is married and we have to be content with all the other people that have come into our lives and disrupted our perfect world. Get the f*** away from my niece, please. I have never said it. But I'd love to say it.
It's hard to get to know babies. That is my conclusion. They sleep, they nurse, they poop, they don't really look you in the eye. Unless you're a boob capable of giving them milk, they pretty much don't care that you exist. But I'm willing to live with that. Liam used to be like that, and now we're BFFs. Well, he's my BFF. Not so sure if he feels the same way. The other day he blurted out that I was like my mom, which is, by the way, the biggest compliment I could get from him because he ADORES her, and I am also the undefeated Lego champion in his eyes, but he has his moments too where he couldn't give a f*** that I am there, and I'm cool with that too.
I guess I'm experiencing the bridesmaid thing -- always an aunt, never a mother. But my time will come, and when it does, I could be really REALLY selfish of keeping the baby all to myself. And that's my deep thought for the day.
Yup -- this moment lasted two seconds...
Liam obviously takes after me in the appreciation of food sense -- go, pizza, go!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
but I'm trying to see your point of view
Deep in my heart, I'm afraid of dying
I'd be lying if I said I'm not
Welcome in, welcome in
Shame about the weather
Welcome in, welcome in
You will come
It's a sin, it's a sin,
We're birds of a feather, are welcome to, land on you
Ya Ya Ya
You've got my eyes
We can see, what you'll be, you can't disguise
And either way, I will pray, you will be wise
Pretty soon you will see the tears in my eyes..
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Spring is in.... Time to wear pink again. I have to say I'm a girlie girl because I just love pastel and Spring happy colors. Bring it on.
Just this week I made two Spring purchases I am extremely pleased with... and I paid tribute to my gods of Target and H&M.
My first purchase is some Madras pink flats from Target. And they were under $12.
I've discovered that places like Target and Payless Shoe Source totally allow me to stay with the fashion but without spending a bazillion dollars. And I LOVE them... I've already worn them to work to coordinate with my salmon pink linen button down shirt that I wore with a black woven tank top cum vest!
And today the weather was definitely cooperating, and I wore my new favorite purchase (oh how fickle I am!), an A-line pink and hot pink linen skirt from H&M. I've discovered they work really well with black leggings...
I'm a bit of a flats nut at the moment. I wish I could go to Payless and BOGO till my heart's content, but alas, even really cheap retail has its limits.
Think pink, ladies. Think pink!
By HENRY ALFORD
I quickly met with my first surprise. Though there’s a constancy to the food items for which 99-cent stores are famous — pasta, rice, nuts, cookies and candy — other items sometimes ebb and flow.
The Tuscans have a saying, “Icché c’è c’è,” meaning, “What you see is what we have.” Only here, of course, your deity is not seasonality, it’s availability. Your seat, their pants: get to know them.
My first few meals mined the wealth of Jack’s staples. I made rice and beans one night, which we zested up with 99-cent canned jalapeños and sofrito (like enchilada sauce, with a slight burned taste); another night we had penne with cream and some pancetta I found in the gourmet section. Another night, after amassing some brown rice and cans of bamboo shoots, water chestnuts and baby corn at Jack’s, I bought some Chinese broccoli off-site for a big stir-fry. For dessert each night we turned to the slightly wanton charms of the Little Debbie product line, particularly young Debbie’s Oatmeal Creme Pies, whose velvety filling so perfectly captures an imagined marriage between buttercream frosting and Noxzema.
One day I grabbed some 99-cent Oscar Meyer sliced chicken breast, though, and served it with Inglehoffer horseradish mustard and some pumpernickel for a tasty $2.97 light meal, with leftovers. If I could make three sandwiches for what it usually costs me to buy half of one at a deli, then my investment was paying off at a rate of 600 percent. Sandwiches: the next stock market bubble.
(Ira Steinberg, vice president of merchandise and head of operations for Jack’s, said: “They’re made of recycled products. They may carry a smoky odor.”)
As my dinner for friends approached, I was feeling my nerves. Eager to test my true mettle, I’d decided that the ingredients would have to be exclusively 99 cents or less — the gourmet section had dulled my skinflint edge. So I cast my eye across the 99-cent world to see what other delicious treasures lay out there.
Disparate nibbling yielded several polite, neutral comments. My guests stared off into the mid-distance as if in the throes of Art Appreciation. But the compliments started flying when I served my chilled pear soup — nothing more than a mixture of Goya and Kern’s pear nectars that I served in beautiful Chinese bowls with star anise floating on top. (Mark: “I feel like I’m at a chic restaurant.” Heather: “I’ve cleaned my bowl.”)
What has been my experiment’s legacy?
I will continue to serve my “pear soup.” I will continue to worship at the altar of Goya’s dulce de leche wafers. I will continue to make my pea soup using frozen peas, particularly as the recipe I devised is so wonderfully easy. (Slice and sauté an onion. Add 3 cups chicken stock, a 1-pound bag of frozen peas, 1/3 cup oats, 1/8 teaspoon cardamom, some salt and pepper. Bring to boil. Purée in blender.)
Saturday, February 2, 2008
So, I'll elaborate on my path of self-destruction another time..
Back to DC. The first evening we spent there, we weren't really sure where to go to have dinner. And did I mention it was FUCKING COLD. We didn't want to walk around aimlessly. We needed a plan. On the map the hotel gave us were some restaurant suggestions; capital! One of them was a tapas place called La Tasca. The name has special meaning to me and Rafa. It is the name of a Spanish restaurant we used to frequent quite a lot in Liverpool, and where I discovered I had an unhealthy obsession with chicken croquettes. We thought it was funny that there was another Spanish restaurant of the same name across the pond in DC.
So, we went there... And it was the same La Tasca!
It turns out that the franchise has a few locations in the US. Yay! Another reason to go back to DC! We were there on a Wednesday, and lucky for us, Wednesday was all-you-can-eat-tapas day! So, for a set price to each guest, we could order as many types of tapas as we wanted. Until we literally bust a gut. And we did... bust a gut, I mean. I had about ten chicken croquettes, gambas al ajillo up the wazoo. I ate so much food that night I'm actually sick now remembering it. I think my body somehow knew that in the next few days I wouldn't be able to taste food at all, because I was making up for it all that night. It was lovely to be in the restaurant; it felt somehow familiar in a place I wasn't familiar with at all.
I learned something about myself when it comes to sharing food. I am extremely greedy. Usually it's me and Rafa, and we get our own thing. And even if we go out with my family as a group, we get a few appetizers to share but the main course is all mine. But if I'm in a group just ordering small appetizers or tapas, I literally want it all to myself. I run into a panic where I think I will still be hungry. What is it about small portions that makes us all the more greedy?I think the whole world needs to move to the Mediterranean or southern Europe to learn how it's done.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Washington DC: Where I got some peace and where I got a bitchin' (and not in a good way) cold!: Part 1
Rafa had time off after New Year's and we all went to Washington DC for a few days. I wasn't really looking forward to it that much, to tell the truth, because at that point, all I wanted was to just relax at home, even for a little while. But, I don't really get many opportunities to see 'our nation's capital' - I've obviously seen too much of Forrest Gump. And most importantly, Paki and Kike have never been to DC, so it would really have been a waste if we couldn't use this extra time to explore another city.
But the only real downfall of the trip is that it was SO FUCKING COLD! We were there a couple of days after New Year's Day when the temperature took a major dip on the Eastern seaboard. I am not exaggerating when I say it was cold. Oh My God! Even with many layers and so many hats, hoods, gloves, and scarves on, so much so that I looked like a yeti for most of our trip, I still managed to get really sick, and the last 36 hours of our trip were just a muffled, drugged, fuzzy blur. It really REALLY sucks to be on vacation and visiting a new city while being sick. Maybe that is why DC didn't make a big impression on me. I didn't feel like myself at all - I felt like my body was completely disconnected from my head. And toward the end of the trip, it was pure adrenaline that was seeing me through.
Quite surprisingly, though, I found the energy to actually go ice skating. There was a small rink in the sculpture garden just opposite the National Archives.
And maybe it was because I was completely drugged and delusional, but I totally rocked the ice skates. Of course, at first, I was scared shitless because the ice was just cleaned and it was super slippery. But then, as I got my groove on, I was really gliding down the ice. For the first time in my life, I was actually elegant. LOL. But of course, I could only keep it up for an hour or so. It was SO FUCKING COLD, and I was so tired and worn out... but it was fun. And skating was definitely on our 'to do' list while our guests were visiting. So that was good.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Penelope, a little brunch place in Murray Hill (often called Curry Hill because of the Indian restaurants in that 'hood), is my little piece of heaven. The food is not that cheap breakfast-wise, but then again, I don't think $3 eggs at our local diner is that common in the rest of the city, or the rest of the world, for that matter. But, the eggs aren't that great either. Penelope is yummy brunch food -- fresh eggs, fresh bakery bread, tea or coffee in mugs that don't match each other. It feels like home, there is no other way to describe it. And it's not only my little piece of heaven, judging by the long line to get a table most Saturday and Sunday mid-mornings.
But it is a place I wanted to take our guests to while they were here because it is not a place you would ever find in Spain. We actually made it there on a weekday, and it was closer to afternoon than morning, so we missed breakfast by a hair. We had to 'settle' for lunch; and I was pleasantly surprised lunch at Penelope wasn't half bad at all.
Kike and Paki both got chicken clubs -- I had wanted them to be a bit more daring, but they seemed to order chicken wherever we went. I don't really get it, considering how diverse the food in Spain is... but I figured since they couldn't really imagine what the different kinds of things America had to offer would taste like, I suppose they thought chicken would be the safe bet... And these chicken clubs happened to look, and as I understood with my limited Spanish, taste fantastic as well. I got the chicken pot pie. Oh, how I love chicken pot pie. I think currently it is my number one of top five things I love to eat... And this one did not disappoint. The chicken was lovely in tender, in a creamy and flavorful filling, with loads of veggies too -- butternut squash, asparagus, peas, mmmmm.
Kike couldn't really find the word in English to describe the feeling he got from Penelope, but I think after a few giggles and perplexed looks at each other, we agreed 'cozy' would be the most appropriate word. So the happiest little brunch place on Earth is cozy too, or at least that is what I think he said. LOL.